The Jumbo Compendium 5-In-1 Bumper Dungeon Fun Pack!

Jason Mills June '99

4. The Dungeon With No Name

The elevator opens onto a dusty street lined with wooden buildings, wooden sidewalks, and horse-tethering poles. Tumbleweed blows around. A sign stands on an easel before them (see right). There are no people about, apart from a Mexican (?) boy in white, his sombrero pushed back, swinging from a horse pole. This is Juan. "Ey! Gringo!" he calls, predictably. He walks over. "I am Juan. You are here for thee showdown, si? I will take you there." He leads off down the street.

The delvers may stop to check out the buildings - sheriff/jail, saloon, stables, barber shop, general store, courtroom, etc - but will find only ghosts within, following the motions they followed when alive, perhaps not having realised that that part of their existence is over. They look as they did at death, many pumping blood from bullet/knife wounds, some purple from lynching, some wasted away with consumption or frozen on a buffalo hunt. Obviously, Dead Man's Gulch is well-named: it is a ghost town. The ghosts will ignore the delvers completely; their voices sound as if they come from a long distance away, and may be just variations in the wind. On the street, two ghostly gunnefighters emerge from sidestreets, circle each other, shouting barely audible curses ("You killed my pa!"), and shoot each other down, before slowly fading into the dull morning light.

Juan leads the delvers out past the buildings to the Anything But OK Corral. There they find a motley assortment of Real Bad Honchos (detailed below), Ol' Willy and Judge James Earl Jones. The latter sits behind a, uh, whatever it is judges sit behind, looking down on the proceedings to ensure fair play. Ol' Willy is a little old man with a white beard, small spectacles, some teeth, and a Stetson hat two gallons too big, who explains the rules to the competitors. Just as the delvers appear, Judge James Earl Jones snaps his pocket watch shut and says, "Twelve o'clock."

Ol' Willy giggles. "Heh! You folks is jes in time! Please take yer places in the line there." Once everybody is lined up, he continues: "Now listen up. On behalf o' the city o' Dead Man's Gulch, I'd like to welcome youse all to the First Annual Real Bad Honchos Convention Grand Showdown at the Anything But OK Corral! Judge James Earl Jones presiding. Now the rules of the game ain' easy, so everybody listen real hard. Y'each take a number, and the Judge here picks out three o' youse by some fancy-chancy method which you don't need to worry about none. Now, those three have the first showdown: they stand in a circle in the corral, an' they kinda go snakey-eyed an' stare each other out for a while, an' then - BLAM! Now you can use whatever you feel comfertable with - gunnes, swords, that there hi-falutin' magic ur some jangly medicine-man charm you're carryin' about yer person. It's up to you. But you only get one shot. Now, if there's one man standin', he's the winner, an' he can stay on in the next showdown - if he wanna. If there's two, well, the Judge decides who's won, but they can both stay on - if they wanna, ok? If all three o' youse is still standin' - I say standin', ya gotta be able to kinda walk away too, ya can't win if ya bin turned to stone, boys! If all three o' youse is still up and fightin', ya all go another round. But, if none o' youse is upright - well, the house wins on a triple zero, folks!

"Now, each num'er will be called once an' once only, an' the show ain' over until everybody's took their turn. If you win an' you step out, you ain't steppin' back in again no way. The other rule you need to know is this: ya cen't use the same trick twice! If you stick somebody with yer sword, next time ya gotta use a knife, ur a spell, ur ya boot if it comes ta that! That makes for plen'y o' fun and nobody knows what you're gonna do. An' if ya got any hoidy-toidy scruples about shootin' yer pals, well, yer better off not playin' at all, y'un'erstan' me?

"Now the part you've been chewin' over: what's the prizes, eh, boys? Well, I'll tell ya: it's a strange thing. The Judge here knows some purty fancy tricks, an' he's gonna work it so's the winner in each round gets half o' the loser's - what was it again, yer Honour?"

"Prime Attribute Points," the Judge intones.

"Yeah, Attibute Points, 'at's right. But, see, that's if the loser's alive. Now, if he's dead, you get all his whatchamacallums, an' ya get everything ya find on him! This supersedes the Agreement signed by yourselves prior to enterin' the Facility an' applies only fer the duration of the fourth of the Company's recreational activity sessions, to wit, The Dungeon With No Name. Yer statutory rights still ain't affected.

"Course, the same applies if you lose, fellas. An' the Judge here has a special prize for the Baddest Honcho of all. Ok. Any questions?"

Ol' Willy and, if necessary, Judge James Earl Jones, field any questions, then everybody chooses a number, delvers first (1 to 20). Dice may be rolled for form when choosing contestants, but to simplify the matter of ensuring the same numbers aren't re-rolled, the call will follow the order shown later on.

Honchos other than delvers will be numbered in ascending order of vacant numbers. The showdowns begin, following the rules above. Each competitor gets one action, all of which are deemed to happen simultaneously. Where they conflict, a D6 roll by all contestants will be used to resolve the order: but even spells cast 'after' a character's death will occur as the time difference is but a split second and everyone gets a last gasp. Players have two real-time minutes to consider their move - this corresponds to the snakey-eyes stuff - and write it down, while the GM does likewise. They must also write down their target (which may be both opponents in some cases). Note that gunshots target specific armour points. Missile attacks are at point-blank range. Since a T&T character is still conscious until CON falls to 2 or 3, and it's a fine line between that and death, you might want to assume that a character is knocked down if he loses half his CON in one round. That way there's a better chance of survival (players are such scaredy-cats).

If there aren't enough honchos to fill the last showdown, the survivors will be asked for a volunteer or two to swell the numbers. If no player can/does, a honcho will. Each showdown is worth at least 100 APs. Note that a living losing delver will be losing half of each attribute...

Delvers in dire need of a fresh means of attack may, if they make an L3SR on LK, suddenly hear "Ey! Gringo!" - and Juan will toss them a random weapon. Other players/honchos are barred from interfering.

The Judge's special prize is a Judge Dredd Lawgiver. This gun has an unlimited supply of 6 different kinds of bullet, but takes at least an hour to recharge after each shot. It has a range of 200 yards. Usual DEX rolls apply for aiming. The bullets you can choose from are:

During the showdowns, non-participants cower behind covered wagons. After all proceedings are complete and the undertaker is scurrying about with his tape measure, Ol' Willy shows the surviving delvers the elevator - in the back of one of these wagons.

Order Of Play

The Real Bad Honchos

('PA'= Total of Prime Attributes. Assume CON=PA/6. Honchos' shot are listed in the order they use them.)

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Updated 16/06/99 by Jason.