An entertaining diversion for bored adventurers has recently opened at the edge of the city, promising harmless fun for all the family and a quick death for some of them. Though veterans snub it as artificial and sissy, those who have actually tried it say that its perils should not be underestimated. Nonetheless, this not-quite-the-real-thing reputation means that no character above, say, level 6 will enter, for fear of being nicknamed Susan. Ah, but you lot are just the business.
You are now entering
The Jumbo Compendium 5-in-1
Please secure all valuables
The igloo-shaped building is unmarked apart from a sign on the door (see right). It is painted a cheerful blue and is about 50' across. Pushing open the swing door, you enter a short corridor with tasteful paintings of scenes from the dungeon on the walls. You emerge into the large domed area, decorated in pleasant pastels. A large cylindrical shaft with double doors stands in the centre of the room and a number of adventurers and their bored companions sit waiting on padded benches around the wall, reading back issues of National Geographic. A smartly dressed hobbit beckons you over to his reception desk and introduces himself.
"Hello, hello. Hello to you all. Hello! I am your host, Quikpiss the Hobbit -" (You can see some of the waiting adventurers shaking their heads and smirking.) "- and it is my pleasure to welcome you to our Jumbo Compendium 5-In-1 Bumper Dungeon Fun Pack! Good-time dungeoneering in the classic style - liche parties only by arrangement. There is no admission charge, but there is the usual legacy arrangement to be signed before you may begin your adventures." He hands you each a document for you to sign (print out this Agreement and give it to the players, so they know where they stand). When this is all taken care of, Quikpiss checks his bookings: "Why, it so happens we have an opening for [however many] adventurers in the very next session! Please wait by the elevator."
After a few minutes the double doors on the shaft open and two adventurers stagger out, dragging another one, who is unconscious. They look severely battered, and they leave without saying a word. A hobbit lady with a headscarf nips into the lift with a bucket and mop and cleans up the blood and vomit in a jiffy. She curtsies politely to you and leaves. Quikpiss smiles and gestures you in. "See you later, elevator!" he says. The doors close and you get a sudden sinking feeling in your stomachs.
|1. The Rainy-Day Puzzle Dungeon||Animal alphabet fun and some magic items up for grabs. Eat yer heart out, Sesame Street.|
|2. The Pharaoh's Tomb||A trip to Egypt and the hassle of getting out of a pyramid. (Featuring a toffee troll.)|
|3. The Kare Bears Dungeon||A sickly-sweet theme park in which all is not as it seems.|
|4. The Dungeon With No Name||High-stakes shoot-out in the Wild West, with Flint Eastwood, Duck Halliday, etc.|
|5. The Dungeon's Dungeon||What other dungeons have nightmares about. An unavoidable sequence of traps and obstacles.|
Updated 16/06/99 by Jason.